Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon . . .


While running/skipping on the treadmill, there are days I am not feeling the energy, but if I keep going, soon I’ll hit my stride and next thing I know it’s near time to hop off the treadmill--done. If I’d have stopped when the going was hard, or when I wasn’t feeling into it, I’d not have completed my workout. Sometimes we have to push through things. If after the pushing through we’re still having problems, then we should respect that. I try to be honest with myself: am I physically/mentally unable today, or am I feeling lazy/uninspired?


In my yoga, there is a balance pose that I’ve been doing for quite some time. I stand on one leg while the other leg is bent and that foot is pressed into the standing leg on the upper thigh. I then raise up my arms to the sky. This morning, before I raised up my arms, I took a little time to adjust my body and found that it settled into place, my spine and body aligned--it felt right. When I raised my arms, my balance was sure and easy. I thought of the times I rushed through the pose and even though I could often keep my balance, I was a bit unstable and stiff. That moment of knowing I had my body right where it should be gave me an “aha!” moment—that all along I’d been doing it half-ass. Full-ass feels much better. I think I'll try to do more things full-ass instead of half-ass.

In edits, I read through my manuscript over and over and over and over and over, and I find the little darlings are easier to kill. I ‘see’ the parts that aren’t working as well, or are boring/draggy to me, or just don’t need to be there. What happens is, I read the words so often, the parts that do not need to be there beg to be deleted. But, the parts that work, the parts that make the novel fun or a joy or interesting or page turning, etc., they never lose their ability to move me or make me laugh or to keep reading. Reading the manuscript over and over takes the shine off the darlings so I can delete them, and the parts that continue to shine no matter how many times I read I know I can leave there. I am learning to trust this process now that I see how it works for me.

I’ve learned to have more humility. Even when I thought I had humility, I see times when I did not. Things I was so adamant about I’ve had to look at in a different way, because there is nothing like having the shoe on another foot, walking a mile in someone’s shoes, putting your footprints in another’s prints—and all those other foot/feet/shoe/boot/flip flop clich├ęs. It’s easy to point a finger or criticize or feel above something when you are on your high horse, but dang if the fall doesn’t bruise (or worse) when that horse can’t quite make a hurdle, or stumbles, or decided to stop suddenly, or rears up, or turns around and bites you on the ass, or the horse is just exhausted and needs a break, or it's not your horse at all but someone else's, or you need to go help someone else because they've fallen or maybe they need a lift up, or a ride.

Here’s the thing: we all just do the best we can do and we do the right thing when we know better. And if someone out there isn’t doing the right thing, or doing better when they know better, well, their cover will eventually be blown and next you know they are standing in front of a microphone whining about how “sorry sorry oh I’m so so--o-o-o-o-rrrry” they are—by the way, if you have to carefully read from a speech how sorry you are, then I don’t exactly think it’s coming from your heart, but that’s just me. If you have to be caught at it and told it is wrong when you know all along it is wrong and you are pretending it is not because you haven't been caught, then the apology is a little empty, as is the cries of "Let me fix this so I can have my life/job/everything I want because it should be mine back."  But those are thoughts for another day :-D

Now, I’m going to gallop away, and not on my high horse, but instead on VK’s Fionadala.

I'm really down to some wires, so I'm offline more than on. Last minute PETEY stuff, Rose & Thorn Journal summer issue out soon. Trying to complete edits for VK III. Lawd!

 Soon I should have a cover image of Firefly Dance anthology (where my PETEY novella is to be published) - but I will leave this image of the anthology that just came out - such a beautiful cover. Information on this anthology "Women's SpacesWomen's Places" is here; Celia Miles. I receive no compensation for the anthology sales, so don't want you to think I"m "advertising it" - but I am honored to be included in it (a creative non fiction essay I wrote about my kayaking experience) and hope it does well for the editors, etc, and recognition to the other writers/poets. If you like a variety of poetry, essays/creative non fiction/short stories, then here you go! Support these writers/poets/editors and get your copy!

What are your random thoughts? Have a great weekend!

(all photos taken by Kat Magendie, except the one of where I'm hiding my face and the book cover--two of them taken from the window of an airplane)

15 comments:

Eryl said...

I'll be going full-ass from here on in!

ficwriter said...

Full-ass sounds good to me. Love it.

john bord said...

gone lookin fer da rest of me tailpiece that got chewed off

yeppers i just be haf dere

Karen said...

Hope you get all done, that needs to be. Random thought? Why am I sitting here feeling hungry, but don't get up to get something to eat.

Mimi said...

Great post, even if you are busy!
Your thoughts on workout mirror mine on walking, often find I'm home again before I know it, if i give it the chance.
And even though I don't write, I could relate to the editing thing of the words begging to be eliminated.

michiko said...

A good idea to keeps it up your Yoga
that is very important in your body
with out pains.
Enjoy your day.

Barbara Forte Abate said...

If it wasn't such a hot, steamy, alternately rainy day, I'm pretty sure I'd be up and going full-ass crazy over all the things I have lined-up and needing my attentions.

Random thought: Just what is the sense of having my brand new shiny never ridden bicycle parked in the middle of my kitchen where it doesn't belong and everyone is increasingly annoyed at the inconvenience of having to navigate around it every time they need to get into the fridge??? (Duh, because it's a hot, steamy, alternately rainy day.)

Linda Hoye said...

Full-ass. I like that.

Deb Shucka said...

Great cover on that book. I really enjoyed reading the meanderings of your mind here. The part about your editing process has given me something to think about. Learning to trust our processes - now that's a lifelong pursuit. :-)

Terri Tiffany said...

I loved reading your random thoughts. One of mine is like yours that until you have walked in lots of pairs of shoes, it is so easy to judge, I'm thankful for what I'm going through now because I look at some things with new eyes and that helps alot.

michiko said...

Thank you for visit but you can't getting in my sits?
I don't understand why some of my friends has problems with it?
hopefully next time that I can read your comments:-)

Glynis said...

Lovely thoughts. Courage and humility are good to have. Keep smiling. x

Janna Qualman said...

Okay, Kat, so who else can share seemingly random things and give so much through them? You're wise! <3

Talli Roland said...

I love the randomness! :)

I ask myself the same question when I feel a bit off: am I uninspired/ struggling, or am I just being lazy? I'm never sure if I can trust my answer!

Diane said...

Full ass is definitely better! I want to keep it up there as long as possible. The "sags" have already started! :O)