Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Embarrassing Moments


I am meeting myself coming and going, so I thought I’d just post this quickly so I can get back to work—I have so much on my bigger-than-the-usual-dinner-plate right now, that I’m almost “unplugged” from blogging, twitter, and Facebook. Lawdy! [I haven’t forgotten the “promo contest” Gumbo Writer and I are doing, we both are just being kicked in the rear busy right now.]


One of my favorite parts of Redbook Magazine is the “red in the face” embarrassing moments. So let’s have an “embarrassing moments” here on the blog. I’ll tell you two of mine (there are so many to choose from), and in the comments you all tell me yours. If I've done this before and told these, my apologies, but I don't remember that I have . . .


Two (of many) Embarrassing Moments—

While out of town, I went shopping and bought some cute “boyshort” undies. I wore them the morning I was flying back to WNC. Getting to the plane, no problem. But, when I’m off the plane and walking the long walk to my connection, the boyshort undies begin to make their way down my hips—oh oh. Did I mention I was wearing a skirt? So, I’m walking and feeling them slip down, down down. I’m looking for a ladies room—desperately. When the undies slip far enough down, there’s nothing else for me to do but push my upper thighs together and do this stupid strange little ducky walk to keep them from falling down around my knees and to the floor. People are looking at me funny, lawd! It was the longest most embarrassing walk I’ve ever had in an airport terminal (hmm, why am I qualifying that “in an airport terminal” –hmmmm). I barely made it to the ladies room before those undies slipped right on down to my knees. I had to literally tuck them—um…you can figure it out—wedge them—so I could make it to my connection and back on the plane! Oh Dear. Lawd!

But this was worse . . .


PICTURE IT!: The midish 70’s. I was a young and single woman. My friend and I were going to go out “Disco Dancing,” yes that should be the embarrassing moment right there *laughing* - just the idea of Disco Dancing is embarrassingly humiliating enough—I have actually done The Bump—annnywaayyyy…..my friend always wore such cute clothes, so we went shopping and she convinced me to buy this, this, Thing. It was a pair of stretchy knit bellbottoms with a stretchy knit matching mid-riff top that tied under the bust—the colors were some kind of mod swirly stuff in muted colors of light blue, green, cream.


Thing is
, my friend also convinced me that the top was NOT absolutely NOT supposed to be worn with a bra. Fine for her, with her, um, slim upper regions. But, not fine for Miss Kat with her, um, bounty of upper regions. But, I did it—I put on this tight knit swirly-colored matching outfit and platform shoes, and off we went to Disco Dance.

Out on the dance floor I was Shake Shake Shaking my Booty—just a going to town (I was a pretty good dancer, at least in my own mind I was)—when this cute guy gets up from his table and walks to the dance floor towards me. I’m thinking, “Oh! He is so enthralled with my dancing, he’s going to dance with me! Oh, he’s cuuutttte!” I dance harder and faster. So, the cute guys comes right up to me, and I’m just a-dancing away—She’s a Brick House…letting it all hang out—and I’m just a-going, and the cute guy is right near me now, and he leans over to me, me still just a dancing— Aaahh Freak out! Le Freak, C'est Chic—and he says, “Hey, you’re coming out of your blouse….”

SCREEECHHH (yes, that’s the sound of the record suddenly stopping, the world coming still, including my Super Freak Dance Moves). Oh….my….gawd. The cute guy then calmly goes back to his seat and starts laughing with his friends. Oh…my…gawd. And me? I try to pretend I don’t care and just sort of nonchalantly walk to the ladies room (another walk of shame to the ladies room just as above *laughing*) to fix myself. Oh…my…gawd! When I came out of the bathroom, I just went back to my table and tried to pretend everything was normal and I’d not just shown a bounteous amount of personal flesh to a roomful of people—I guess I should thank the cute guy –he could have let things go a lot longer *shudder to think.* My friend thought it was the funniest thing EVAH. Huhn. The outfit was relegated to the back of my closet. I wonder what ever happened to that thing.


Your Turn! Tell me an embarrassing moment, or two.

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7 comments:

Shrinky said...

Ha! Soooo glad I'm not the only clutz around here (giggle). I must say you handled both situations with great aplombe (I think that's the word). It's not the clangers you make, it's how you deal with the aftermath, I say!

Me? I make at least one scew-up a week, which to choose? I think my worst was - oh wait, I don't you guys well enough to air that one yet.. nah (blush). Besides, virually any post of mine highlights some embarassing moment or another of mine.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Your embarrassing moments cracked me up! For the first one, you should have just gone "commando!"

I know this sounds crazy, but I can't think of any embarrassing moments. I've obviously blocked them from my mind. I'll keep thinking and if I remember one, I'll come back and "spill." ;-)

destrella said...

I did actually dance so hard at church one night that I slightly peed myself.... need to do those Kegels..... I also took my walk of shame to the ladies room. :O)

Titus said...

Brilliant stories!
I've had so many! Split velvet tight trousers once at a disco (rear-end area), house search where I was so proud of locating a stolen credit card only to find out I'd searched the jacket of one of the other plain-clothes police officers involved in the search, but...
the ones that sear me the most are when I mispronounce things, as I like to appear both intelligent, relevant and wise. Worst of all was when I was being admired in a bar and I thought it would be a good idea to order a "Michaelbob".
Yes, that was really how I said it, and what I really thought it was called. Getting that flush just thinking about it...

ficwriter said...

Oh, goodness, I've mispronounced a few words, too. And most of my embarrassing moments include my mouth, but only because I couldn't get my foot out of it. :)

eu said...

Great stories! When I was a college freshman I joined the judo club briefly because I thought the president was hot. The first class I wore a pushup bra under my judo outfit instead of a sports bra...and it wasn't until after he dropped me off at home with his scooter that I realized my Wonderbra had slipped to my stomach...no wonder he was staring. (Is she human or cow?)

Jessie Carty said...

oh too funny! and i have too many as well but the first one that comes to mind is when i tried taking kung fu a few years ago and while working out there one day the front seam of my pants completely ripped, audibly, and i had to scramble to untuck my t-shirt to hide my stomach poking through!