Thursday, July 30, 2009

God bless the child who's got a home, redux


I want to talk more about these book clubs and the women I met and admired. I aslo wanted to continue the Vegas stories, but the post below about Mother's who give up their children, Father's who take them (or father's who get a "pass" because they are men), is generating some interesting comments. All this came from an article I stumbled across on MSN - and since it is timely to a theme in Tender Graces, I pounced on it. So, I'll leave you with yesterday's post, below, for now..

See post AND the comments below, or click here and here is the original article I saw in Today Parenting: So, mothers? fathers? stepmothers? adoptive mothers? what do you have to say on the subject? What about the mothers who take the "given away" children? do they get the respect they deserve? One of the bookclub members the other night said something that struck me, for I never thought my book would have that impact on that subject of "stepmothers," but she said after reading Tender Graces, she had a new appreciation for her own father's wife, her stepmother - that she saw her from an entirely different perspective--anytime your book helps someone to think or work out something, well, it's a feeling like no other. Many of my themes in TG and in my writing are about PLACE, BELONGING, HOME, MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS, FATHERS & DAUGHTERS... Home...belonging...do we not all want a place where we belong? where we are wanted? Where we are SAFE? . . . read below and read the articles from the link and leave your comments here or below...

7 comments:

Sharla said...

I know when I read it, it hit me at every relationship level. As a daughter, as a mother, and as a stepmother myself. It is a tricky balancing act to be a stepmom and love your children without making them feel you are crossing the line and taking their real mother's place. I have a daughter and a stepson and the dynamics in my house have always been on a teeter totter. I think TG did a great job of showing that dynamic!

Kathryn Magendie said...

Sharla - thank you for your comments on TG . . . and step-parenting is just as you say - that tricky balancing act. Stepmothers have had a bad rap, I think, since times of fairytales depicting them as evil women bent on harming the children....

Jessica said...

Anyone who watches children who are not biologically theirs has my deep respect.

Kathryn Magendie said...

Jessica, Yes, I respect my stepmother for taking my 2 brothers and I, one at a time no less, and then adopting us. She had two of her own - five kids! eek! But, she kept us together and I will always respect and love her for that!

Jessica said...

Hi Kathryn,
I just saw your comment on my blog. Wow, I hope the first comment of mine wasn't rude. From your post I totally got that you respect those who do this so I hope I didn't sound like I didn't think that (lol, hope that run-on makes sense)
Anyways, you're very right in that the second situation might be worse than the original. Unfortunately I've known too many friends, etc, who were abused in different ways by relatives who took them in or watched them.
So I guess I just really admire the ones who take in children and LOVE them. :-)
Great posts! (and I hope I wasn't offensive with any of my comments *eek*)

Kathryn Magendie said...

Jessica! You are never rude! Ever! I always find you remarkably sweet, nice, kind, professional - in all ways! I never even thought anything of the sort; I was just commenting to your comment in agreement! *smiling*

Sarah said...

Hmmmm..I have five children and the step parent thing is so hard..all of mine are natural..but 3 have a step dad..he is always weighing and carefully dealing. His feelings get hurt and he is loved on..it is a tough row to hoe!!
I am a prechool teacher ...sometimes I feel like a step parent..some children are with me more than at home. I have parents calling me on their vacations desperate to know how I deal with their child in a situation - will I please speak to the child and get them to behave?? It is tricky...to be a step parent and be a good one is divine!! Bless them!!
Namaste, Sarah